Maybe not the most compassionate phrasing, but it sure does it get to the heart of the way our minds function. When we think about our day, we easily remember and hold onto those difficult moments. Those challenging interactions. Those crappy experiences. The term for this is negativity bias, and it takes real effort to get our minds to see our reality with clarity.

When we break our day down, minute-by-minute, we suddenly realize much of our day actually passes that is emotionally neutral, or even pleasant.

Today, I woke up angry because snow was thickly falling outside my window, and was predicted to continue to fall for the rest of the day, and yet… no snow day. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DANG SNOW DAY. I — a skittish driver in the best of times— was terrified about driving on the unplowed roads through piles of snow. As I drove down the road, I watched my mind kick up all the possible horrible scenarios of me sliding off the road, cars sliding into me, me sliding into cars, etc. And then, I caught myself. And I asked, “what is actually happening right now?” The answer was: I was driving 12 miles/hour down the road without another car in sight. And I kept asking myself that, “what about now?” I’m getting on the highway with a lot of other cars, but we are all going about 30 miles/hour. And no one is sliding into me. And I’m not sliding into anyone.” What was actually happening was much different than my fears. What was actually happening, though unnerving, was fine. And even though it was most definitely not a snow day (and should have been), many of the tiny moments that made up even the rest of the day were enjoyable, or at least uncharged.

The more we can ask ourselves, “yeah, but what’s actually happening RIGHT NOW?” the more we can see that some of those bigger pains that we carry and obsess over are small in comparison to the rest of the day, (or even the hour). The more we can observe the truth of our day, which is filled with micro-moments of ease.