I started lunching with small groups of 5th graders when I realized I was never going to get to know them when I only see them 45 minutes/week, and much of that time is offering redirections, halfway across the gym, to kids names who I may or may not have learned yet.

For all kids, but especially our kiddos who struggle with meeting behavior expectations, relationships matter. And when we can’t build them conventionally, we are challenged to get creative. Even if it means digging deep to garner personal interest in Fortnite and ignoring some sloppy eating practices. Shockingly, to me as someone who has primarily worked with adolescents, 5th graders ADORE getting to eat lunch with you. My first group has been hounding me for when we get to eat together next. So even when our in class interactions may feel strained, we have these moments.

While I have been missing decompressing with teachers in the lounge, I have gained a better sense of who the kids are in my class, besides just their bizarre behaviors of putting buckets on their heads, shouting through cones, and sulking when they don’t get to be a tagger. I find it easier to genuinely like them. And I think the feeling is mutual.