Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters

Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street

This is one of my favorite readings. It’s such a beautiful commentary on human nature. About even when we have an understanding and desire for change, it does not happen instantly. About how we may, with time and experience, stop making the same mistake repeatedly.

I am currently on chapter 3 around classroom management. I haven’t quite figured out how to have the right balance between ease/playfulness and seriousness of purpose around wellness with high school students. How to hold the line around excessively silly behavior while still allowing for humanity and levity. I think sometimes I have this idea that because I practice mindfulness, I should be able to respond well in all situations. I’ll just know the answer because I’m paying attention and trying.

Spoiler alert: this isn’t true. So I can see where I am. And I’ve fallen down again. And I am hopeful that with time, consultation with others, and perhaps an observation or two, I can get better.

Can we all have a little lightness around our own humanity as teachers? Even when we practice mindfulness, gasp, we are still human.